What Would Elisabeth Elliot Say?

Content removed by the blog owner out of respect for Elisabeth Elliot and the concerns of both a respected commentor to this blog and its owner.

Change and Stability…

Two weeks ago my husband came home from work, walked in the garage door and without breaking stride walked me out the back door to the very back of our very long back yard saying he needed to talk to me. This did NOT bode well.  What news could be so bad that he needed to tell me in a REMOTE location?  He chose well.  The news was that we were going to be moving.  **insert agonized scream** Stability, roots, are important to me. I don’t WANT to move every few years. I want to grow old in a community and have history with people. While no place is perfect, the girls and I had settled in well here.  I love the people, the homeschool group is great, precious friends here, and our parish is like family.  All those things make for a happy wife and kids, but don’t make dh’s job environment what he’d like it to be.  It was like being kicked in the stomach by a very large draft horse. 

So the job search process commenced.  We are actively looking, screening communities and job opportunities, and have several interviews lined up for the next month to six weeks. I’ve been running the gamut on emotions here… that whole ’steps of grieving’ thing.  Even though the essentials are all the same, I feel a bit cut loose from my moorings… all the indecision, the not knowing, the work ahead and yet the inability to get started on it, the need to wait…  I don’t do that well. 

From the very beginning I held on to the knowledge that God knew this was coming, that it had come through His fingers, and that I could trust Him even in this.  I have had the comfort that the Mass would be there, where ever He led us.  I’ve known that my husband loves me and wants to do what’s best for me and the children.   Not once have I ever questioned his devotion or commitment to us.  Despite all the upheaval, depression, grief,  the truly important things are rock solid.  So what was it that broke through the intensity of feeling to remind me of that?  Here are a few examples…

This post has been interrupted several times.  The children seemed to have gone temporarily absent minded and nearsighted as they forgot to do their kitchen chores… once reminded the attempt was rather disappointing and another try necessary.  However, the interaction over this with them was far from unpleasant.  It was full of good humor with smiles, laughter, and teasing.  Even in their interaction with each other, there was humor and laughter.* 

My husband had taken a break from his studies to eat a snack and, though I had come back to my post, was sitting in the kitchen bantering with them.  Some amusement had us sharing a glance and as we smiled at each other it hit me again (as it has numerous times over the past week) that this was precious, a constant in my life.  The chaos and uncertainty of life may tornado around me but this… this is the eye of the storm that is always with me. 

You see, my relationship with my husband is not separate from my faith, or even his… rather, it is a natural extension of it.  When we married, we both fully believed it to be sacramental.  We vowed not only to each other, but to God, to love one another through sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, in good times and in bad.  We’ve done the poorer thing, we’ve done the sickness and in health thing, we’ve even had the good and bad times before… but what brought us through them all was the vow to love, our commitment to God to love. 

That didn’t mean we’d feel affectionate toward one another, or see one another through rose colored glasses, or even LIKE each other. It meant that we would be patient, kind, not jealous, not bragging, not arrogant.  It meant we wouldn’t act unbecomingly, or seek our own.  That we would not be provoked or take into account wrongs suffered.  It meant that we would not rejoice in unrighteousness but rejoice in the truth.  We promised to bear all things, believe all things, hope all things, endure all things.  We promised that THIS love, REAL love which remains when emotion has long failed us, would never fail.  At times we have failed in minor skirmishes, at times the battle has been lost…. but we are winning the war.  We are running the race set before us and the scale is weighted with successes in this love.   

In the end, I’ve learned that in this faith, this family, this love lies stability and roots… I am not leaving those things behind… but taking them with me and in the process been reminded just how closely joy is intertwined with suffering.

*Don’t think they are some kind of angels.  We have plenty of kitchen clean ups that are nasty affairs with bad attitudes and bickering.  Just wanted to be sure no one left this entry with delusions of the perfect family… (and no, my real life friends do NOT need to post how hard they are laughing at the very idea.)

Apologies…

James H has posted in the comments and said I need to get blogging. **Thanks James!** He isn’t the first to say it… but here’s to him being the last.  My apologies for the unexplained and rather lengthy hiatus.  I suppose it would be sufficient to say that I am officially the homeschooling parent of a teen and two preteens with only one little darling left in the ’sweet spot’ and even she has her less than sweet days.  However, as if that weren’t enough… life threw me a curve recently.  I will endeavor to do better… and I’ve missed you all too!

Catholic Carnival 118: Prayers of the Faithful

The Catholic Carnival 118: Prayers of the Faithful is up on Postscripts from The Catholic Spitfire Grill.  Witty commentary as usual… go check it out!

St. Patrick’s Prayer…

One of the gifts Catholicism brings is the gifts of the saints.  Their lives, their witness, their writings, their prayers speak to us, encourage us, strengthen us, stretch us.  One of the prayers of the saints that I have come to love is the Prayer of St. Patrick.

 

 

 Prayer of St. Patrick

Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me.
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

 

What I didn’t know is that this is only a small portion of a larger prayer by St. Patrick called St. Patrick’s Breastplate which is excellent in its entirety.

 

 St. Patrick’s Breastplate

I bind unto myself today
The strong Name of the Trinity,
By invocation of the same
The Three in One and One in Three.

I bind this today to me forever
By power of faith, Christ’s incarnation;
His baptism in Jordan river,
His death on Cross for my salvation;
His bursting from the spicèd tomb,
His riding up the heavenly way,
His coming at the day of doom
I bind unto myself today.

I bind unto myself the power
Of the great love of cherubim;
The sweet ‘Well done’ in judgment hour,
The service of the seraphim,
Confessors’ faith, Apostles’ word,
The Patriarchs’ prayers, the prophets’ scrolls,
All good deeds done unto the Lord
And purity of virgin souls.

I bind unto myself today
The virtues of the star lit heaven,
The glorious sun’s life giving ray,
The whiteness of the moon at even,
The flashing of the lightning free,
The whirling wind’s tempestuous shocks,
The stable earth, the deep salt sea
Around the old eternal rocks.

I bind unto myself today
The power of God to hold and lead,
His eye to watch, His might to stay,
His ear to hearken to my need.
The wisdom of my God to teach,
His hand to guide, His shield to ward;
The word of God to give me speech,
His heavenly host to be my guard.

Against the demon snares of sin,
The vice that gives temptation force,
The natural lusts that war within,
The hostile men that mar my course;
Or few or many, far or nigh,
In every place and in all hours,
Against their fierce hostility
I bind to me these holy powers.

Against all Satan’s spells and wiles,
Against false words of heresy,
Against the knowledge that defiles,
Against the heart’s idolatry,
Against the wizard’s evil craft,
Against the death wound and the burning,
The choking wave, the poisoned shaft,
Protect me, Christ, till Thy returning.

Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me.
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

I bind unto myself the Name,
The strong Name of the Trinity,
By invocation of the same,
The Three in One and One in Three.
By Whom all nature hath creation,
Eternal Father, Spirit, Word:
Praise to the Lord of my salvation,
Salvation is of Christ the Lord.