Adoration…

Worshipping God in the Blessed Sacrament… Adoration… one of the great treasures I’ve found in the Catholic Church.  Our parish has Adoration once per month for a 24 hour period.  I normally participate, waiting until the last minute to sign up for an hour so as to fill the empty spots… purely selfish, I assure you, as I’d like to see Adoration become more frequent. This month, the guy who coordinates all that in our parish was walking around so people could sign up at the Fish Fry one Friday and so I just asked him to sign me up for whatever hour he thought would need me. This time, it was 5-6 am… an unusual hour for me but I was looking forward to it as usual. What I didn’t bank on was getting sick the week before…

Climbing out of bed at 4:30 with some trepidation… still felt a bit queasy (not contagious… just not popping back as quickly as my 9 yr old did), I got ready to go and chatted with my husband who got up for an early morning breakfast. My bag loaded with materials… MP3 player filled with the rosary, Divine Mercy chaplet, Gregorian Chant, Abba Pater, among other options… my rosary, and rosary binder filled with Redneck Woman’s meditations using a rosary to pray for my children, for consecration, etc… I pulled on my coat and began the short drive across town to the Church.

It had dusted snow… the streets, sidewalks, and parking lots were silvered with it. Chilled air blanketed the empty byways and stores. Silence… even within the car, the only sounds my breathing and the rustling of my coat.  As I pulled up to the doors of the Church, I could see one other solitary soul slipping inside… and my feet duplicated his, marring the silvered dust before the doors.

With the open door, a burst of warmth, and light, and color… and the silence becomes not an absence but a Presence. Entering the sanctuary, I sign my name on the roster.  A nearby pew already has the kneeler down and I complete a double genuflection before taking my place upon it. Like the removal of my heavy winter coat in the vestibule, the mantle of care slips off my shoulders to the floor behind me as I begin this time of Adoration and prayer.

Shifting a bit, retrieving the readings and rosaries I wanted to use, I bid a whispered good-bye to a dear retiree in our parish who is leaving and we are left alone… my silver footed companion and I, before the Blessed Sacrament.  Over the past two years, I have spent many an hour here.  Some have been longer than others, at times tempted to join the apostles in sleep, at times ‘schizophrenic’ prayer has been offered with mixed emotion… My companions have varied as surely as the intensity of my devotion, frequently a fellow parishioner, occasionally one of my children, my husband a time or two…

I began to read, to meditate, and to pray… setting to with a will, knowing the blessing and joy that will come, anticipating the treasured uninterrupted time with the Lord… despite the additional magic from the silvering snow, an ordinary Adoration… or so I thought.

It seemed but a moment before I had completed the initial readings and moved to the Children’s Rosary, and in doing so I mused a bit over the seeming increased intensity of the Presence… but didn’t pause over it, determined to pray for my children before time was up. Again, it seemed but a moment and I was more than half done with the Children’s Rosary… this caught my attention a bit as this usually takes me well over a half hour to pray, yet I didn’t hesitate but began to pray all the more as I knew I might be hard pressed to complete it and feeling that I wasn’t going to have enough time to pray for all that was upon me.

Next interruption, the door creaked behind me signaling a new adorer.  Surely it can’t have been an hour yet. A surreptitious peek showed it to be an older man I recognized who frequently comes and spends time before the Lord. Relieved that it was not yet the hour, I turned again to my prayer with joy.  One decade left and the door creaked again as the relief came for the next hour… and I could not believe it was up… I was nowhere near done praying.  There was so much left on my heart, the Presence of the Lord had grown so around me and it seemed that very little time had passed at all… only a few moments, surely no more than 15 at most… but the cell phone time does not lie, the fresh faces were present… and while I knew I could stay and pray as my heart longed to do… though I was certainly welcome, my husband slumbered at home – already concerned over his wife out at night alone. Should I stay and he awake to find much time passed and my absence continued, he would be quite concerned… and for that reason I could not remain.

Double genuflection. Crossed with holy water. Coat on again, lighter than the shoulders remember, mantle of care still pooled behind the kneeler in the pew.  The door opens upon the cold, silvered winter night, the silence once an absence hushes still… with Presence. He is yet with me… that intense sweetness, heightened awareness, living joy. 

Quiet breath, coat whispers, the car returns to its garage rest and I to my bed… Hidden there under blankets and the curve of her daddy’s arm, my youngest who bid me a groggy good-bye before I left from the door of her room. As I slide in beside her, my husband stirs and welcomes me home. I curl around my daughter, hold my husbands hand, and I turn to the Presence… again in Adoration.

 

The Octave of Christian Unity…

On the homeschool forums I frequent, someone started the Octave of Unity in honor of a regular poster who has a particular… affinity… for the subject.  The intentions for this Octave are quite good and it seems wrong somehow to celebrate the Octave without it’s intentions so I thought I’d post them here…

DATE __________		INTENTION ___________________________
Click on the dates below for the complete devotion proper to the particular day within the Octave.
January 18 Feast of St. Peter’s Chair in Rome		The union of all Christians in the one true faith and in the Church
January 19		The return of separated Eastern Christians to communion with the Holy See
January 20		The reconciliation of Anglicans with the Holy See
January 21		The reconciliation of European Protestants with the Holy See
January 22		That American Christians become one in union with the Chair of Peter
January 23		The restoration of lapsed Catholics to the sacramental life of the Church
January 24		That the Jewish people come into their inheritance in Jesus Christ
January 25 Feast of the Conversion of St. Paul		The missionary extension of Christ’s kingdom throughout the world

These are excellent intentions and what true unity they would bring should the prayers of many be answered. May God reconcile ALL His people to Himself in His Church… but praise God for His mercy until that day when we are truly ONE as He willed us to be.

 

A Devotional Meme…

CJ’s blog had this meme on it, with an invitation to play… it was more intriguing to me than any others I’ve seen, so I took her up on it…

1. Favorite devotion or prayer to Jesus?

The Anima Christi and The Universal Prayer.

2. Favorite Marian devotion or prayer?

Hail Holy Queen followed by The Offertory

3. Do you wear a scapular or medal?

No.

4. Do you have holy water in your home?

Yes, in holy water fonts and bottles for filling them.

5. Do you ‘offer up’ your sufferings?

Yes.

6. Do you observe First Fridays and First Saturdays?

No.

7. Do you go to Eucharistic Adoration?

Yes.

8. Are you a Saturday evening Mass person or Sunday morning Mass person?

Saturday evening, 5:00 regular.

9. Do you say prayers at mealtime?

Yes, and over snacks too.

10. Favorite Saint(s)?

Blessed Imelda Lambertini; JPII; Mother Theresa; among others.

11. Can you recite the Apostle’s Creed by heart?

No, but I’m working on it. (Grew up Baptist.)

12. Do you usually say short prayers (aspirations) during the course of the day?

I wouldn’t say usually, but often yes.

13. Bonus Question: When you pass by an automobile accident or other serious mishap, do you say a quick prayer for the folks involved?

Yes, I do… and for the EMT’s etc who are/will be caring for them.

 

Shekinah Glory…

The first homeschool support group meeting of the year was held last night.  As I was driving over, with silence (oh blessed silence) in the car, I took the opportunity to pray the rosary.  Starting with the Joyful Mysteries, the first Mystery was the Annunciation. 

Recently, on the homeschool forums, we got into a pretty heated discussion of Mary (and all things Marian in the Roman Catholic Church).  As usual, several of us (the Catholic ladies on the forum) found ourselves defending practices we don’t engage in personally.  However, one thing considered Marian (I disagree with that by the way, I find it much more Christocentric than I do Marian. In reality, the rosary is a meditation on the life of Christ.) that I have found to be an incredible blessing is the Rosary (and all the prayers associated with it, even the Hail Mary, Hail Holy Queen, Memorare, etc).  During the course of that discussion one of the Catholic ladies said something about the presence of the Lord ‘covering’ Mary during the Annunciation.  Being well familiar with the sacred scriptures, this was not new to me although it did sort of roll lazily around in the pinball game of my mind a little longer than usual, as though there were something MORE there that I just wasn’t seeing.  In the end, it rolled quietly on down and off the board of my mind without any lights or bells going off.

Back to praying the rosary on the drive, here I am praying through the scriptures on the Annunciation and I get to the 8th Hail Mary bead and read the scripture for that bead…

And the angel said to her in reply, “The holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you.  Luke 1:35a

…and all the bells and lights and whistles on the ol’ pinball machine went off like lightening had run through it. It HIT me what that meant. When one thinks of the power of the Most high overshadowing something, what comes to mind? The column of cloud (and fire) that led the people in the wilderness in Exodus, the cloud/fire of the Presence that filled the Tabernacle in Exodus, the cloud on the mountain which encompassed the Presence and out of which the Voice called to Moses, also in Exodus, and in 1 Kings when the Temple is completed and the cloud, the Presence, the Shekinah of the Lord comes to dwell there in the Holy of Holies.  What did that ‘overshadowing’ of the ‘cloud’ show? The dwelling place of the Lord. Every. Time. It was a physical sign that the Lord was present and ’taking up residence’ as it were. That is what is happening in Luke 1:35!!!!  The impact of that expanded understanding broke over me like the first warm and sunny day after 8 months of winter and I could’ve basked in it for much longer than the short drive I had left. 

I never could’ve imagined that the Lord would teach me as much as He has through ’praying’ the rosary… Instead of the ’idol worship’ it was claimed to be, the rosary has proven to be an intimate time of communion and communication with the Lord and He delights in teaching me through it.  Once again I find myself treasuring a new pearl of great price found during its use.

 

The Rosary and Other Musings…

One of the biggest surprises, as I have delved further into all things Catholic, has been the Rosary.  As a protestant, I was very disturbed by all the Marian devotions… at best it seemed idolatry, at worst there were tales of equality with Jesus which just set every last hair afire.  A friend recommended a book on the Rosary that she uses with her children, Speak Lord, I am Listening: A Rosary Book, and so I placed an order.  I had a plastic freebie rosary from the church we used to attend, and thought I’d give it a try even though I was certain that the rosary wasn’t for me. 

The book arrived and I began to flip through it.  First, you make the sign of the cross and say the Apostles Creed… ok… no biggie there. I believe all that and lately I even can say the ‘Catholic church’ part now without mentally screeching “BY CATHOLIC I MEAN UNIVERSAL NOT ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH” which was quite the step forward if I do say so myself.  Then you say the Our Father.

 After that comes three Hail Mary’s… but not just Hail Mary’s for the sake of saying Hail Mary’s.  Each of the three beads represents a virtue… so the first bead is a Hail Mary for an increase in Faith.  The second bead is a Hail Mary for an increase of Hope, and the last bead’s Hail Mary is for an increase in Love. 

Then when you hold the next Our Father bead, you state the Mysteries you are going to pray, name the first mystery of that set, say the scripture for that, and then pray the Our Father. Then there is a scripture for EACH Hail Mary bead that you read and then meditate on as you SAY the Hail Mary for that bead. 

I soon realized that the Rosary wasn’t really ABOUT Mary at all!!!  It was a meditation and prayer on the life of Christ!  Something that I really hadn’t done hardly at ALL as a protestant and certainly not something that was encouraged as a part of daily devotions! Sure, it was Marian to the extent that you quote what the scriptures say about Mary repeatedly and ask that she pray for you and for all sinners now and at the hour of our death, but how is that any different than asking a living friend in the faith to pray for you? Are not those who have gone before living?  Of course they are… the only Marian thing about the Rosary is that it seems to have been given by/inspired by Mary as her way of encouraging us to meditate and dwell upon the life of her son, our mutual Savior.

I have learned much in the brief time that I’ve been praying the rosary and it has become a joyful time of prayer when my girls and I pray it aloud together.  Primarily I pray a scriptural rosary, but a friend has written up scriptural rosaries for praying for your children, and one of consecration based on the story of the Carmelite Martyrs of Compeigne as told in To Quell the Terror, which I also pray.  I am so excited by how greatly my prayer life and meditation is enriched by this.

Some of the biggest protestant ‘issues’ with the Catholic church that I was aware of before becoming Catholic have been proven completely unfounded not only by what I’ve learned in RCIA classes and observed on my own, but also by simply praying the rosary and what I’ve learned while doing that.

 It was said that Catholics worship Mary.  They don’t worship Mary, the Roman Catholic church doesn’t advocate worship of Mary and the Rosary isn’t worship of Mary.

It was said that Catholics don’t read the Bible. I have never been a slouch at Bible study etc, but I am becoming even more fully immersed in scripture than ever through my ‘conversion’ process in the Catholic Church.  Every time I turn around I’m being encouraged to read scripture, given a Bible with the apocrypha because I didn’t have one, given a lectionary with the reading schedules for Sunday Mass for YEARS to come and encouraged to read them ahead of time in preparation each week, even my penance for First Reconciliation was meditation on scripture and prayer.  Instead of the ‘quiet time’ touted by protestants, this is a life SATURATED with scripture.  It is unbelievable!

It was said that Catholics left Christ on the cross, not only because of the crucifix but also in their attitude about life and faith.  On the contrary I have found that the resurrection is just as celebrated and embraced as it ever was in the protestant circles, if not more, but Catholicism has traditions in place that will not let them forget the price paid for the salvation we enjoy and all too often that was not dwelt on nearly enough in the churches I attended. 

I have found the Catholic church more understanding and forgiving when someone fails or falls short of the mark, less likely to shoot their wounded, more willing to come along side to encourage and help you back onto the straight and narrow. The people I have come to know in our Church are much less concerned about appearances and much MORE concerned with the welfare of the person and state of their heart. For example, the evening we had the Rite of Welcome one of the alter servers had leaned the crucifix against the door.  A regularly attending parishioner and his wife opened the door only to have the crucifix slide over and hit one of them hard in the head.  The husband reacted with a rather loud, “OH SH*T!” and everyone in the sanctuary turned to look but the reaction was what made me laugh and smile for the rest of the evening.  The general reaction was not shock and offense that the House of the Lord was somehow desecrated by the use of profanity (as would’ve happened in any protestant church I’ve ever attended), instead it was concern for the people involved… were they ok? Once it was ascertained that no real injury had been sustained, everyone breathed a collective sigh of relief and turned back to the front to wait for the Mass to begin.  What joy that brought me!

I digress but I get so excited about what I’m experiencing and learning.  The riches and blessings God has poured out upon us are overwhelming and the desire to share is intense.  However this post has run long and it is late and I need to go if we’re going to get to have evening prayers as a family.

 

Fall Has Come…

Emotion as evidence of God’s presence or any issue of our walk or faith is never to be trusted, but there are definite seasons in the life of faith and mine has cycled again.  The soul is quieter of late.  The time of intense, intimate fellowship with God in Spirit, of learning and understanding has mellowed into a time of obedience, a time of implementing what I have been taught and walking by faith … not by sight or sound of whispered voice.  It is not a lack of God’s presence, rather a quiet assurance that remains where the intense presence used to be.

The RCIA classes continue to reinforce some of what God has taught me over the past year and a half.  Reviewing concepts, reinforcing understanding, giving time for more meditative thought.  It continues to surprise me how far God has moved me… and yet I am so completely moved.  There have been times in my life when I’ve felt that peace that passes understanding, but of late it has become almost a perpetual presence.  Somewhere in this journey I have let go and begun to trust at a deeper level than before. While my faith has grown, it is still far from a mustard seed… I keep praying, Lord, give me faith, not the size of a mustard seed, but the size of a Job’s Tear… I am not only doing things I thought I’d never do, but being greatly blessed by them as well.  Praying the Rosary, going to Adoration, searching for biographies on Saints, among other things.  I am finding myself longing for deeper fellowship… though I am greatly fed, I also feel as though I’m starving at times… Not a spiritual failure to thrive, because I AM thriving… but such a HUNGER..  It is not the same hunger I feel to come to the table for the Eucharist, but it is not unlike it either.  Oddly, interwoven with the hunger is also a deep well of patience… a willingness to wait upon the Lord, and to allow HIS time to be MY time.  It is clear to me that it is completely Christ and none of myself since I have never been the best at delayed gratification…not to mention that anything good in me has never been of myself…but only of Christ within me.

We have added morning prayers (and a portion of the rosary) to our day and when we are well and able, join the staff at the church for them.  It is such a wonderful way to start our day… yet another blessing of living in a small town. It would take entirely too much out of the day to have done it in College Station.  What joy to hear my children’s voices raised in song to praise, in chanting the psalms and scriptures, in prayer to petition.  Each new practice we add to our lives to bring us closer to the Lord will surely be a helpful framework for the next winter of my soul that is surely coming.  It is not a lack of faith which makes me say so, or dread… but rather the sure knowledge that it will come as it has before.  It is ever a time of trial when the presence of God has withdrawn from me and it is out of love, by faith that I walk, a time when all that has come before, and all that is new, will be tested. 

Even so Lord, even so.