Wretched Food…

We’ve only lived here about four months and let me tell you, I am SPOILED.  Father is on vacation. 

Having lived in three states in the past few years and visited many more parishes than our local ones as part of the job interview process in each prospective community, we had one really good parish.  The others were mediocre at best and some of them were down right scary.  I am not talking a lack of aesthetics, I’m talking teaching and homilies and treatment of the Blessed Sacrament that would wipe Papa Ben’s smile right off his face. In these parishes, we reminded ourselves that the Eucharist was still there and did what we could to continue growing in our faith even when the priest etc was letting the parishioners down, staying and praying for that parish and its priests…. but we grumbled.

Our parish here has been fabulous.  Talk about an on fire, dedicated, passionate, priest not only faithful to the magisterium but seriously dedicated to the souls in his care. The seminarian is an excellent complement to him and between the two of them it has been an incredible summer.  Our seminarian returned to school a few weeks ago and we are already feeling the loss keenly, particularly with Father gone. As I said, we have gotten spoiled… not complacent by any means, but spoiled none the less.

Yesterday, I was going over the Mass readings between Benediction and Mass.  The first reading was Numbers 21:4b-9.  I got stuck at the end of verse 5.

4b But with their patience worn out by the journey, 5 the people complained against God and Moses, “Why have you brought us up from Egypt to die in this desert, where there is no food or water? We are disgusted with this wretched food!”

It suddenly hit me, totally out of the blue, that I am guilty of griping about the ‘wretched food.’  I have been worn out in the past by the moves journey and complained to God saying, “Why have you brought us out from where we had it so good to this place with a spiritually anemic parish, a horrible priest, and unfriendly people wretched food?” Ouch. That was all BEFORE Mass.  Did I mention that Father is on vacation?

We had a visiting priest.  If I had thought the lesson was over once Mass began, I had another think comin’. It was case in point, or point in case rather, illustrated by the opening prayer.

God our Father, in obedience to you your only Son accepted death on the cross for the salvation of (hu)mankind.  We acknowledge the mystery of the cross on earth.  May we receive the gift of redemption in heaven. We ask this through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever.

That red bit above was added courtesy of the visiting priest and it didn’t get better.  Sigh. It was like our wonderful new parish had been invaded by the ghosts of parishes past… and I had just been told I was a whiner.  Did I say ouch? Yeah. I hear ya Lord, no more complaining about the ‘wretched food’.* 

Father gets back on Wednesday and we are incredibly grateful.  He has been sorely missed.  Still, I will not forget this lesson and will continue to pray daily as a result for an increase in vocations, both to the priesthood and religious life, of those who will be like my priest.  Men and women faithful to the magisterium with a passion for both the people and the details which make up our Liturgy and the Deposit of Faith we have been given, people who encourage others to greater holiness by their example and their presence. Praying not with an attitude of complaint but of gratitude… for the GOOD priests out there and that God would give us MORE of them.

If you are like me and have been in the past, or still are, stuck in a parish that seems to hurt more than it helps, I ask you to join me in prayer.  I encourage you to offer up the suffering you experience on behalf of vocations, begging God for a priest after His own heart – not only for your parish, but for all parishes like it in the world.  Instead of complaining about the “wretched food,” let us turn to God in thanksgiving for what we have and pray that He will raise up holy, godly young men and women who will ‘feed’ the generations to come well.

 

*Just noting that ‘no more complaining about wretched food’ doesn’t mean no more speaking out about abuses and failings generally which need to be corrected.  That we are required to do as an spiritual work of mercy.

Gratitude…

I have a lot to be grateful for today.  My dear friend has been with me since last Thursday, having evacuated from Houston ahead of Ike with her family. She lives in Seabrook, Texas and given the projections, she faced total loss of her home. Ike had a few last shifts up his sleeve though and things changed in those last hours.  As a result, her home is intact.  A very little water damage - easily repaired, one tree lost that fell away from the home, a neighbors tree that could’ve also hit the house fell away from their home, the power was back on fast enough that no food loss is expected… and yet the water came within a couple houses of hers.  

She is, understandably, anxious to return home and yet the reality of her own good fortune and hours upon hours of media coverage has not inured her to the misfortune of others.  She is currently at Home Depot, loading up on supplies and tools so that she is more able to help others, neighbors and strangers  who are less fortunate, upon her return.

Yes, I am grateful… not only that my friend’s home was spared… but for my friend as well.

Mother Teresa’s Dark Night…

This was taken from a post on the homeschooling forums in response to the recent news article on  Mother Teresa… it is always so incredibly hard to write of this experience I thought I would save it in case I ever need to write about it again… at least I’ll have something to work with and not have to start from scratch.

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Not for one moment do I deny the human ability to burn out, to despair, to lose sight of hope in the face of insurmountable odds, the desire to escape. However, given my limited understanding and knowledge of Mother Teresa’s life and experience, as well as what I am about to share here, I do not believe that to be the case in her situation.

I told RNW that I hate it when she extracts a promise from me to post my own personal experience with the dark night of the soul and then goes and starts her post on the subject (as she does every. stinkin’. time.) with some comment about the Great Saints Through Time (How do you TM again?). Not only is it extremely difficult to share, like walking in here completely in my bday suit on my worst body day, but I always think, no. way. am I responding NOW… sigh… not after what SHE said… but she is right when she admonishes me to inform you all that it is NOT only Saints of the type of Mother Teresa, Padre Pio etc et al who experience the Dark Night. It isn’t. Ordinary, sinful, wretched refuse of awful examples of Christianity like myself can also experience it. It does not come from any of the things described here. It does not come from insurmountable obstacles. It does not come from a desire for escapism. it does not come from despair. It does not come from burn out. Neither do any of these things come remotely close to describing the dark night of the soul. I have experienced all of those things, and I tell you, compared to the dark night, they are peaks of unspeakable joy.

We do not realize, before that experience comes, just how much we truly sense the Presence of God. Even in those ‘winters’ or ‘valleys’ when we don’t ’sense’ Him in the usual way and feel alone, He is there and we are aware of Him… it is only a reduced or more limited Presence than normal. The dark night came out of nowhere. One moment He was there, closer than my own breath, and the next moment He was gone. Not a winter. Not a limited Presence. Gone. All awareness of that Presence extinguished so completely that one feels this inexpressible horrific void so intense you almost feel as though you are in freefall in an inky blackness. At first, the shock and panic are combatted by reassurances of one’s self that we have experienced winters in the spiritual life before and I began to deal with it as such. However, it soon became readily apparent that this was nothing of the kind. That desolate Absence was pervasive. I was never without it. I hate to use a Harry Potter analogy, but it was not unlike the Kiss of the Dementor (this was long before the HP books, but the analogy helps)… eventually I began to wonder if I would ever know joy again. I began to wonder if God had forsaken me. I began to wonder if I had done something, sinned in some way that would cause God to turn from me so completely. I began to understand what kind (though obviously incredibly dimly) of desolation might have caused Christ to cry out to God from the Cross. I began to wonder if I had committed the unforgiveable sin and blasphemed the Holy Spirit. I examined myself endlessly to no avail and found nothing out of the ordinary, nothing I could pinpoint which may have caused this abandonment by my Lord. I repented of everything I could remember and begged forgiveness of all that I had done and didn’t KNOW to confess. I went through various ’stages’ before wondering if I had lost my salvation entirely. What if I had? What if I had done something which would cause a Holy, Just God to forever banish me from His Presence? What if I was ****ed? What then? There came a time after much agony, much mental and emotional suffering, when everything stilled and got quiet. My emotions were calmed and in the midst of that great void in which I had been existing for some time it came to me. The question. So what if I have no hope of heaven? Let’s say that the worst case scenario is indeed true. What will I do then? What if, no matter that Christ died for me, that I believe completely in Him, in his sacrifice for me, that I have loved and served Him, obeyed His commands as best I could, not because I think it will get me anything but because I love Him… what if in spite of ALL of that…God forever ****s me to hell? What then? How do I then live? Do I ‘live it up’ and make the most of the time I have left because I’m gonna burn in hell anyway? Or do I live it anyway?

The answer was that I live it anyway. I love Him anyway. Though He slay me, abandon me, reject me, **** me, yet will I praise Him, worship Him, love Him, adore Him. I faced what was on every face the very reality that I had, in fact, lost my ’salvation’… my hope of heaven… and I decided that despite all of that, I would live every day, every moment, every breathe as best I could pointing others to Him, testifying to His glory, His majesty, His wonder. With that decision came a feeling of resolution, a contentment with my decision and yet the void was unabated. I began to live again with that focus in the midst of the void, in the unbearable Absence. Living out that choice.

Then one day, some time afterward when I was completely past even wondering about any alternative, I realized that the Presence had returned. He had once again shared Himself with me. Slowly, almost surreptitously, He had wrapped Himself around me like a fleece blanket round a sleeping child on a cool night. I remember the wonder of that realization… the tears that began to run down my face as I realized that He had not abandoned me at all, had been there all the time, but had completely removed His Presence ENTIRELY, that He might teach me something… something that I could not learn had any hope, any feeling, been left for me to cling to. I’ve never been the same since. I can’t really get into the ‘how can I know I’m saved’ discussions because it just really isn’t about that for me anymore. Do I WANT to be ****ed? No, do I WANT to spend eternity in hell? NO, I WANT to serve God with every cell and atom of my being, every fiber of my soul, for the rest of eternity… but I don’t want to do it anymore for what I’ll get out of it, I don’t even think about that anymore… but because He is worth it. I will serve with what ever time I am given to do so, and should He send me to the bowels of hell, yet will I worship Him.

Perhaps Mother Teresa experienced all those ‘human’ emotions mentioned early in this post at some point, maybe even more than once… but it was not the cause of her dark night. It would’ve been completely separate and on top of that dark night, in addition to it. Her ministry was not the cause of her dark night… her ministry was the result of it. The result of her great, abiding, selfless, tenacious, self sacrificing, love for her Lord… though He choose to slay her, abandon her, reject her, withhold Himself from her… she chose to LIVE for Him… and look at her LIFE… LOOK at the depth of her LOVE… truly, hers is one of the few lives I ever thought, while not able to EVER equal, came close to answering Jesus great cry of agonizing love from the Cross.
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Love and Sacrifice…

Let us remember that love, in order to survive, must be nourished by sacrifices.
— Bl. Mother Teresa

The Sacrifice of Praise…

The well people in my family went to Epiphany Mass this evening.  Meaning Precious (dd 11) and myself.  It was nice to go with her by ourselves.  She is very devout and we both are able to focus completely on the Mass.  For some reason with the other girls there, and dh, it is a bit more distracting at times.

The choir was there, the organ playing, all the Christmas decorations still up and the Wise Men had completed their journey across the miles (and the dais) to worship the Baby Jesus in the manger in our creche. I was not scheduled to serve as Eucharistic Minister, but ended up serving anyway which is always a great privilege.

Lately I’ve been engaged in some discussion on a home schooling forum with protestants over the Eucharist.  Someone stated that college students praying over and calling some Ritz and Pepsi communion was perfectly ok.  Believing in the Real Presence and having a particular passion for the Eucharist due to the manner of my marriage and reconciliation, I had to disagree.  This led to the usual, ‘we can worship any way we please’ type argument on the protestant side and the ‘no, God never left how we worship up to us, remember Nadab and Abihu’ from me. It’s a common exchange with only minor variation as the protestant in question changes over time.

This has been on my mind a great deal of late, the differences in how we approach worship and praise and sacrifice.  Most protestants view worship as what ‘feels good’ or is ‘comfortable’ or what seems right in their own eyes.  A sin of which I am guilty above all, God forgive me.  I do not speak about that which I am not also convicted! However, God did not leave the details of proper worship up to us. He didn’t in the early days of the covenants with Israel, and He didn’t in the completed Covenant with Christ either. 

Then tonight in Mass in the prayers and Consecration of the Eucharist, a phrase caught my attention and I found myself struggling not to give in to meditation on it. 

We offer you the Sacrifice of Praise.

The Sacrifice of Praise… I had always thought of that as several things… a gift, as something we owe God, as an offering… but the sacrificial element of giving God praise hit me today. It is a sacrifice because we can’t just give whatever we think is best.  It is a sacrifice because we must give to God the type of praise GOD has said is appropriate. It is a sacrifice because we die to ourselves, give up our own desires in form of worship, give up our preferences in forms of worship, give up our own comfort with what constitutes worship and praise and instead give to God what is RIGHT to give Him. The praise we offer truly IS a sacrifice… and our humbling ourselves, worshipping Him as HE has said is right and good is part of that sacrifice.   It is a sacrifice because it is not we who limit God by worshipping as we please, but God who limits US to worship that accurately reflects who He is and what He has done. Yet it is a sacrifice of praise because in humbling ourselves we truly see in ever new and deep ways how majestic and holy He is and respond with praise. The more fully we humble and reconcile ourselves to true worship, the more aware we become of all the grace and blessing and glory that God has revealed of Himself in that worship, and our willingness to praise is magnified, and our sacrifice more willing and more perfect.

I too had to sacrifice my personal comfort level and preferences in worship when God called me home to Rome… I am so grateful for all the sacrifices God asks of me because they always make me more like Himself… and hope that I am always willing to see what new sacrifice He requires. In the end, I have found that the Liturgy is so precious to me… I can’t imagine anything else as worship now that I’ve truly experienced it. Reconciliation to the Church has helped immeasurably in that way… and yet I must keep being willing to be shown where I yet fail to die to self… I’m a poor and unwilling sacrifice despite my desire to be a better one. 

Persecution…

Scripture says that the world will hate us, even as it hated Christ.  We’re told that we will suffer, not that we MIGHT, but that we WILL.  I never did, not really… until I became Catholic.

A dear friend had told me about things said to her, stories of things that had happened to other Catholics, other converts… and I believed her… was even prepared for it when I first converted.  I have since heard stories from converts themselves.

For my own experience… I had a dear friend, one who attends at an Assembly of God church tell me in a very hurt and confused tone that it seemed to her I had been blown about by the wind.  I was stunned. I had attended TWO churches in the entire time I knew her which was a period of some years.  The only reason I switched, was that we had moved from one town to another eight hours away for a 1.5 year period.  When we came back, I went back to the same church.  I had learned a lot over the years… shared some of that with her… but nothing to suggest what she said.  It didn’t really hurt… it was more sad that she couldn’t see what was clearly God leading in my life. Still, she was my friend and that didn’t change… at first. 

My Dad, serious Bible scholar and teacher that he is, was pretty stunned… but he, I think, knew me well enough to know that when  I said God didn’t give me a choice, that I meant it, that it really was God, and has seen enough spiritual growth in me since to settle any question that may have lingered after I told him about my conversion.

In fact, even in the small town and outlying area where I live and have made friends, I have not experienced any persecution or unkindness for being Catholic.  We have been treated with love and acceptance.

However, despite it all… I have experienced some very real, very intense, very vicious persecution for being Catholic in the last place I ever expected it. The homeschool community.  I participate in a homeschool forum for parents who are continuing to learn above and beyond teaching their children.  When I first began to participate, I was very intimidated. I didn’t feel I belonged at all.  Slowly, over time, I felt more at ease as I learned the particular dynamic of that forum.  Since becoming Catholic, I’ve noticed more when theology cycled around every few months (3-6) and gotten involved to try to correct some misunderstandings about Catholicism. I wasn’t the only one, though Catholics are by far the minority… it IS a protestant curriculum with protestant users for the most part.

At first, it was ok.  When things got frustrating, the threads would die and we’d have a break… books, art… something else… and then a few months later it would come up again.  Often the topics were cyclical too… we’d have to explain every time that Catholics don’t worship Mary or the Saints.  We’d have to explain the concept of Real Presence in the Eucharist.  Over and over… but that was ok… we had a break and we’d come back fresh and ready to patiently explain it again.  However, for the last few months… maybe up to six or more… we’ve had absolutely no let up in the very intense debates of Catholicism vs protestantism (usually correcting misconceptions and clarifying the RC position)… As a result, the threads get hotter, people get weary, tempers flare, feelings get hurt… and yet the threads just won’t go away… and if they do, another pops up immediately.

There have been quite a few conversions that have taken place, that ARE taking place, as a result of the discussions in that forum. It has been a great joy and privilege to get to talk to a few of those ladies… and it is worth all the suffering.  I would do it, and probably will, all over again if God should see fit to use such a broken and imperfect vessel.

That said, I have been stunned at the level of vitriol, hatred, lack of charity, arrogance, pride, selfishness, spitefulness, and any number of other unpleasant traits which have been exhibited specifically towards Catholics, and all by Christians who profess to be speaking in love, with concern for souls.  People who insist on claiming Catholics are idolatrous, that Catholics believe prayer to Mary gets them into heaven, and any number of abominations which Catholics do not believe.  It isn’t just one person, though a couple have been the very embodiment of it…. but it isn’t a great many people either… There are  many who have been kind, spoken up in defense of the Catholics and assured us that they understand and treat us like the brothers and sisters in Christ that we are. Those few, however, are enough.

It is amazing the level of charity and restraint and grace I have seen exercised and poured out by the Catholic ladies… and it is incredibly painful to be accused of idolatry and the like despite repeated explanations and corrections because people willfully choose to believe a lie.  It isn’t even about disagreeing with what we believe, it is refusing to BELIEVE us when we say what we believe because what they THINK we believe is so much easier to hate… so much easier to ignore.

In responding to someone in regards to one such gentleman, I said I was not up to the usual rebuttal of points because of extenuating circumstances in real life etc… He replied. Despite reaffirming his assertions that he believes one can be Catholic and Christian… this man wants the Holy Spirit to convict me to turn from the RCC because he feels I ’am mislead in my RC doctrines’ and am ‘misleading others as well’. He says his prayer is that God would not give me peace until I do. He completely misunderstood the feeling behind my comment, made in weakness, that I was ’so furious I was shaking’ and assumed that it was the Holy Spirit and I wasn’t listening. *sigh*

First of all, if one can be Catholic and Christian at the same time, why do I need to be convicted to turn from the RCC?  Why does he seem so adamant that I am in the wrong place believing the wrong thing? Not only that, given his admission that he has not been in LLL long and is completely unfamiliar with my story, or any of the discussions between Catholics and protestants in the past, what makes him think I am ‘misleading others as well’? Who has gone to him and claimed to have been misled or said things which would make him think so? Regardless, I’m not there to lead anybody anywhere, conviction is the Holy Spirit’s job, not mine.

Second, he says he wants God not to give me any peace until I turn from the RCC and stop misleading others.  What he doesn’t understand, is that the anger and frustration I felt was righteous anger.  Reaction to the things he was saying after some weeks of very intense spiritual attack on both myself, other Catholic friends, and one of my daughters. For someone who wants more than anything else to be right with God, someone who has held nothing back… doing my best to be obedient to God regardless of the cost to myself, there is nothing more abhorrent to me than the idea of doing something which would grieve the Lord…  to say that I am committing idolatry and worshipping Mary, among other things, when I am not,  makes everything in me rebel in outrage because my  God is a jealous God and I do NOT steal from Him.  It was the very abhorrence of that with which I was falsely accused, while sensitive from suffering MUCH for the Lord in my own life and watching my precious daughter suffer as well, which brought forth such feeling… and not for my sake alone, but for all those devout Catholics who lived and died in the Lord’s service and were so slandered with this man’s vile remarks about their gravestones and their lives. 

When I turn from the forums, from such awful accusations, and go to the Lord in prayer, I am at peace… because I am exactly where God wants me. I am in the center of God’s will for me.  My conversion experience left no room for doubt, and I would die before turning from where my Lord has placed me.  To do anything else would be to turn my back on God, and though He may slay me, yet shall I follow Him. I am sorry for that man… I will be praying for him, that God would forgive him for urging me to disobey God, knowing that he doesn’t know what he does.  I have forgiven him as well, because he truly doesn’t understand… and I’m sure, despite his offensive approach, that he really does think he is being loving and wanting the best for me and the other Catholics, and doesn’t realize how corrosive his manner is, or what he’s encouraging us to do. 

The frustration remains… but the anger is gone… as I’ve gone once again to the Lord and after venting said yet again, ‘but it is worth it all Lord, and I will suffer whatever you see fit to trust me with.’  I am at peace… that peace that passes understanding, the joy of the Lord floods me, those precious gifts which received at my confirmation which are continually renewed within me… and suffering is become my friend, because it is when I am weak, when I am suffering, that He is made great… and even there, when I am mocked, scorned, ridiculed, slandered, misunderstood… even there is a peace and a joy when I turn my face to Him, that makes it all worthwhile…

Oh Lord, forgive me for my struggles.  Help me to embrace the altar completely. Help me oh Lord to give up even this, even this righteous frustration and anger. Let even that portion of me die, that you might be more purely seen in me.

Grant, O Lord, that none may love you less this day because of me;
that never a word or act of mine may turn one soul from thee;
and, ever daring, yet one more grace I would implore:
that many souls this day, because of me, may love thee more.
Amen.

The Blood…

I have a friend who is on a journey very similar to mine.  She is still learning and has not made it ‘home’ yet, and so it has been a great blessing and honor to talk to her about various issues as she reads and studies…  Her husband is also learning but she generally gets to the books first.  As she has been sharing with her family what she is learning her teenage son is really struggling with some things, one of which is the Blood portion of transubstantiation. His rebuttal of that was based in the teaching against consumption of blood in the Old Testament.  So the other evening as I was going to sleep I was meditating on the problem… and got something interesting…

What are the characteristics of a sin offering? It was done as atonement for sin. It was an animal, which was killed. Also, this wasn’t just done once, it had to be repeated… both for individual sins and for the sins of the community at large. It was an atonement, but not a ‘perfect’ atonement in that it would have to be repeated again as necessary. Also, the sin offering was eaten… we see that with the lamb in the institution of Passover during the Exodus and in Leviticus 6:19-20.  (Even more interesting is that in vs 20 anyone who “touches” it’s flesh shall become sacred” – italic emphasis mine.  Imagine then if merely touching the flesh of the sin offering makes the person sacred, what consuming it might do?) Furthermore, what did the sin offering accomplish? It was offered for the atonement of sin, right?  What does blood signify in Sacred Scripture? Leviticus 17:11 tells us that “Since the life of a living body is in its blood, I have made you put it on the altar, so that atonement may thereby be made for your own lives, because it is the blood as the seat of life, that makes atonement.”  Blood shed has of course, always been necessary for the atonement of sin, but it was not allowed to be consumed. Why could the meat be eaten, but not the blood if both were offered in atonement? (I’m sure there were a variety of reasons but am thinking of something specific as a possibility here…) So why did Jesus institute consumption of the wine as Blood (via transubstantiation) when previously that had been forbidden?

One of the things I’ve learned through all of this study and change in the last few years, which was really an extension of all the Judaic study and understanding, has been a new element to what I already understood about covenants.  Looking back through Sacred Scripture we see repeatedly how God came to man and made covenants, and sometimes He revisited covenants and added new things to them… like addendums of a sort. However, when you look at all the covenants of the Old Testament, you see that over time God is adding successive layers in each new covenant.  New details, new practice, which gives added depth and understanding. What you still have throughout it all however, is the understanding that there is no permanent solution for our sinful nature.  We needed repeated cleansing for our sins, many sin offerings.  They did not give us a new life, they cleaned the mess we made in the old and then we went forth and tried not to make new messes… but there was no ‘new life’ offered in that atonement. Then you hit the life of Christ, and you  hear Christ say that He has come not to abolish the law but to fulfill the law and by His very life He is fulfilling prophecy. Then by His DEATH He becomes the perfect sacrifice for the atonement for sin (and this time it IS a perfectly perfect sacrifice… no need for a repeat performance), fulfilling not only prophecy but covenant as well and placing the final layer and seal on all the covenants that came before in preparation for this moment. In the night before He places that seal, He does something very important and very interesting in celebrating the Passover.  He holds up the bread,tells them to take and eat saying this is my body which will be broken for you. THEN, He takes the cup and says take and drink, this is my blood which will be shed for you and for all for the forgiveness of sins. WHOA… that’s new! Eating the body is something they are familiar with, drinking the blood is NOT. WHY, in this sacrifice Christ makes for us, this perfectly perfect sacrifice that is in atonement for sin that will never have to be repeated, does He tell us to drink wine which is His Blood?

Remember what else blood is in Leviticus 17:11 besides just atonement for sin? It was LIFE! Unlike all the previous sin offerings, in Christ’s death as our perfect sacrifice He gives us something MORE than just atonement, something new! He gives us LIFE! Not the same old life, but NEW life, with the law written on our hearts! (Jeremiah 31:33-34) Could THAT be (part of the reason) why it was forbidden before? Because the other sin offerings did NOT give life? As for contradictions, there are none. The ban against consumption is not violated in the Eucharist because while we are consuming the Blood of Christ, the accidentals of the ‘bread’ remain, while its SUBSTANCE was changed. Also, like those who touched/ate the sin offering, when we partake of the Eucharist, we too are changed! We too become sacred, taking on more of the likeness of Christ.  We are being obedient to God and remembering His Son in the MANNER we are told to do so with no conflict whatsoever… and the riches and blessing that comes from all the completeness of the fullfilled covenant is ours as His children and join heirs!