Mother Teresa’s Dark Night…

This was taken from a post on the homeschooling forums in response to the recent news article on  Mother Teresa… it is always so incredibly hard to write of this experience I thought I would save it in case I ever need to write about it again… at least I’ll have something to work with and not have to start from scratch.

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Not for one moment do I deny the human ability to burn out, to despair, to lose sight of hope in the face of insurmountable odds, the desire to escape. However, given my limited understanding and knowledge of Mother Teresa’s life and experience, as well as what I am about to share here, I do not believe that to be the case in her situation.

I told RNW that I hate it when she extracts a promise from me to post my own personal experience with the dark night of the soul and then goes and starts her post on the subject (as she does every. stinkin’. time.) with some comment about the Great Saints Through Time (How do you TM again?). Not only is it extremely difficult to share, like walking in here completely in my bday suit on my worst body day, but I always think, no. way. am I responding NOW… sigh… not after what SHE said… but she is right when she admonishes me to inform you all that it is NOT only Saints of the type of Mother Teresa, Padre Pio etc et al who experience the Dark Night. It isn’t. Ordinary, sinful, wretched refuse of awful examples of Christianity like myself can also experience it. It does not come from any of the things described here. It does not come from insurmountable obstacles. It does not come from a desire for escapism. it does not come from despair. It does not come from burn out. Neither do any of these things come remotely close to describing the dark night of the soul. I have experienced all of those things, and I tell you, compared to the dark night, they are peaks of unspeakable joy.

We do not realize, before that experience comes, just how much we truly sense the Presence of God. Even in those ‘winters’ or ‘valleys’ when we don’t ’sense’ Him in the usual way and feel alone, He is there and we are aware of Him… it is only a reduced or more limited Presence than normal. The dark night came out of nowhere. One moment He was there, closer than my own breath, and the next moment He was gone. Not a winter. Not a limited Presence. Gone. All awareness of that Presence extinguished so completely that one feels this inexpressible horrific void so intense you almost feel as though you are in freefall in an inky blackness. At first, the shock and panic are combatted by reassurances of one’s self that we have experienced winters in the spiritual life before and I began to deal with it as such. However, it soon became readily apparent that this was nothing of the kind. That desolate Absence was pervasive. I was never without it. I hate to use a Harry Potter analogy, but it was not unlike the Kiss of the Dementor (this was long before the HP books, but the analogy helps)… eventually I began to wonder if I would ever know joy again. I began to wonder if God had forsaken me. I began to wonder if I had done something, sinned in some way that would cause God to turn from me so completely. I began to understand what kind (though obviously incredibly dimly) of desolation might have caused Christ to cry out to God from the Cross. I began to wonder if I had committed the unforgiveable sin and blasphemed the Holy Spirit. I examined myself endlessly to no avail and found nothing out of the ordinary, nothing I could pinpoint which may have caused this abandonment by my Lord. I repented of everything I could remember and begged forgiveness of all that I had done and didn’t KNOW to confess. I went through various ’stages’ before wondering if I had lost my salvation entirely. What if I had? What if I had done something which would cause a Holy, Just God to forever banish me from His Presence? What if I was ****ed? What then? There came a time after much agony, much mental and emotional suffering, when everything stilled and got quiet. My emotions were calmed and in the midst of that great void in which I had been existing for some time it came to me. The question. So what if I have no hope of heaven? Let’s say that the worst case scenario is indeed true. What will I do then? What if, no matter that Christ died for me, that I believe completely in Him, in his sacrifice for me, that I have loved and served Him, obeyed His commands as best I could, not because I think it will get me anything but because I love Him… what if in spite of ALL of that…God forever ****s me to hell? What then? How do I then live? Do I ‘live it up’ and make the most of the time I have left because I’m gonna burn in hell anyway? Or do I live it anyway?

The answer was that I live it anyway. I love Him anyway. Though He slay me, abandon me, reject me, **** me, yet will I praise Him, worship Him, love Him, adore Him. I faced what was on every face the very reality that I had, in fact, lost my ’salvation’… my hope of heaven… and I decided that despite all of that, I would live every day, every moment, every breathe as best I could pointing others to Him, testifying to His glory, His majesty, His wonder. With that decision came a feeling of resolution, a contentment with my decision and yet the void was unabated. I began to live again with that focus in the midst of the void, in the unbearable Absence. Living out that choice.

Then one day, some time afterward when I was completely past even wondering about any alternative, I realized that the Presence had returned. He had once again shared Himself with me. Slowly, almost surreptitously, He had wrapped Himself around me like a fleece blanket round a sleeping child on a cool night. I remember the wonder of that realization… the tears that began to run down my face as I realized that He had not abandoned me at all, had been there all the time, but had completely removed His Presence ENTIRELY, that He might teach me something… something that I could not learn had any hope, any feeling, been left for me to cling to. I’ve never been the same since. I can’t really get into the ‘how can I know I’m saved’ discussions because it just really isn’t about that for me anymore. Do I WANT to be ****ed? No, do I WANT to spend eternity in hell? NO, I WANT to serve God with every cell and atom of my being, every fiber of my soul, for the rest of eternity… but I don’t want to do it anymore for what I’ll get out of it, I don’t even think about that anymore… but because He is worth it. I will serve with what ever time I am given to do so, and should He send me to the bowels of hell, yet will I worship Him.

Perhaps Mother Teresa experienced all those ‘human’ emotions mentioned early in this post at some point, maybe even more than once… but it was not the cause of her dark night. It would’ve been completely separate and on top of that dark night, in addition to it. Her ministry was not the cause of her dark night… her ministry was the result of it. The result of her great, abiding, selfless, tenacious, self sacrificing, love for her Lord… though He choose to slay her, abandon her, reject her, withhold Himself from her… she chose to LIVE for Him… and look at her LIFE… LOOK at the depth of her LOVE… truly, hers is one of the few lives I ever thought, while not able to EVER equal, came close to answering Jesus great cry of agonizing love from the Cross.
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John Paul II

Andrew of Unam  Sanctum has a great post on JPII… One i kept coming back to… and the inspiration for this one.

John Paul II has a special place in my heart. Even as a protestant I was drawn to him, respected him, knew him to be a godly man…. just rejected the idea (quite vehemently) that he might have any authority over me. **sheepish cough** What drew me? It wasn’t the words, the letters, or any of the papal ’stuff’.  It was the images.

The expressions…

Images that showed aspects of his character…

Humility…

Humor…

Gentleness and Affection…

He taught us how to forgive…

 

Images that resonated.

Images that spoke louder than words.

Images that taught.

In the end, he was bowed by the cares of a world…

 but never broken…

 and he taught us how to live, even to the very end.

Truely, this was a man of God… who went to the Father even as he lived…

and whom surely was well received…

 

 

 

Imperfections…

One of my dear friends is a pastors wife.  They are a protestant homeschooling family.  This friend recently posted a letter written by her husband which was to be published in their local paper and asked for thoughts on it.  

The letter is as follows…

I’m A Christian…Please Forgive Me
Some of you may be offended or confused by what we’re saying. Others may react by thinking, “It’s about time somebody said that.” Some of you may think it’s just a gag. I assure you, I am serious. This is a sincere apology for all the harm that has been done to Jesus and His movement of revolution and life-change by those of us who call ourselves Christians.

*I’m sorry for neglecting the poor and not loving people the way Jesus did.
*I’m sorry for being slow to notice the 25 million dead in Africa from AIDS and the
40 million infected including millions of women and children who had no say in the
matter.
*I’m sorry for all the people protesting outside the funerals of our soldiers “in the name
of Jesus”.
*I’m sorry for televangelists & churches that give the impression that Jesus is more
interested in getting your money than He is in having your heart.
*I’m sorry for those who’ve given the impression that God’s love is dependant upon
what you do or don’t do instead of sharing that God loves you just the way you are.
*I’m sorry for those who’ve made you think that to be a Christian you have to act like
they do, dress like they do and use the “spiritual lingo’ they do.
*I’m sorry for the times when people in the church have been the first to judge and
condemn instead of offering Jesus’ embrace of grace and restoration.
*I’m sorry for the way many in the church have given people the idea that God hates
homosexuals.
*I’m sorry that for too long the church has treated women like second-class
citizens and acted as if their gifts are unwanted and unusable.
*I’m sorry to those who’ve given up on the church because of the infighting, back-biting
and rivalry that’s gone on by people who are supposed to be Jesus’ representatives
here on earth.

I want to ask for your forgiveness and tell you that Jesus loves you more than you’ll ever know. Please don’t allow our mistakes to drive you away from Jesus. We’re not perfect and won’t ever be as long as we draw breath. But it’s time we acknowledge the damage that’s been done, the pain that’s been inflicted and then do everything possible to change the adjectives people use to describe a Christian. Hopefully by at least acknowledging our past we can begin to change the future.

 Mixed in with many positive reactions was the following reponse by another protestant…

I think the major thing that threw me off in original post was the list of things and the implication that all Christians are guilty of those things. That’s just not the truth; and frankly, I find it insulting when it’s implied that we are – especially from a fellow Christian who knows it’s not true.

I’m ashamed to say that I once felt this way.  I was prideful and arrogant, oh-so-sure that  I wasn’t guilty of much sin I saw in others… and I sure as HECK didn’t want to align myself with them… bearing my own sin and shame was bad enough thank you very much.  Yeeeeeeeeeah. Real proud of THAT. **sigh**

That didn’t last long.  God began dealing with sin in my life that I had NO idea I was guilty of… and it wasn’t just ONE thing… and even when I thought I had some sin ‘beat’, it would rear its ugly head a year or two later like some evil specter that needed further exorcism.  I began to learn that I was guilty of all KINDS of (and a great deal more) sin that I wasn’t aware of… and that ignorance did NOT mean I was any ‘cleaner’ than Tom, Dick, or Harry… rather, just like all those on whom I sat in judgement, I was not only guilty of sin, I was even more offensive in my ignorance and false self-righteous pride than I ever was in the sin itself.  During that time, I ran across a quote in my reading that said basically…

‘when someone tells me something they find wrong with me, I am not surprised and it doesn’t hurt nearly so much as it once did… God has shown me how sinful I am in His eyes and that is MUCH worse than anything anyone else can point out… so I’ve learned to accept and appreciate the reprimand so that it can be dealt with.’

That’s a rough rendition of a much more concise quote which I unfortunately do not have the attributions for.  However, I’ve never forgotten it’s essence and that attitude is one that I have embraced more and more over time.

Not only that, but God has been teaching me about communal life during and since my reconciliation to the Church and I have come to understand how so much of the time He deals with us corporately. When He allowed His people to be taken into bondage for four hundred years, He considered the promise to bring them out again fulfilled, even if it wasn’t the exact same people who went in four hundred years before.  Look at David, Daniel, and the prophets… how often they cried out and interceded to God on behalf of their people… and how did they do it? ‘God, forgive your wretched people… THEY are horrid sinners?’ No, it was always Lord, forgive US.  They took upon themselves and attributed to themselves and all members of the body, the sins of the people. If such godly men were willing to do this, how can we do less?

Lastly, what a selfish thing to say ‘no, I am INSULTED by the idea of having to bear someone else’s sin’ and ‘no, I am INSULTED that someone else would claim to bear mine’.  HELLO?  What else did Jesus DO but that?Are we not to be LIKE Him? Does sacred scripture not say that we are to bear one anothers’ burdens? Then how can we for one moment be insulted to be thought worse than we are for the sake of healing another, reaching another, loving another. Simply, we cannot.

I, too, am guilty. God forgive me for my selfishness, my unwillingness to fully embrace the cross, my refusal to join Christ in His suffering for the sake of the world. I repent that my own pride in being *spit* clean *spit* kept me from being willing to get dirty in service to others. May I never again be too *good* to be like Christ.

Instead, I have been learning what Saint Therese of Lisieux describes here…  learning to rejoice in my imperfections, in my weakness, in being small… because in them is God revealed. In them is He most glorified.

“Ah! lord, I know you don’t command the impossible. You know better than I do my weakness and imperfection… Now I am astonished at nothing. I am not disturbed at seeing myself weakness itself. On the contrary, it is in my weakness that I glory, and I expect each day to discover new imperfections in myself.”                                

       ~Saint Therese of Lisieux

There is a dramatic paradigm shift in this view of oneself as opposed to the earlier one… and it is a great gift indeed.

Looking Back at the Church Militant, now Triumphant…

Lo, there do I see my father…

Lo, there do I see my mother, and my sister, and my brothers…

Lo, they do call to me…

They bid me take my place among them
in the halls of heaven…

With all the martyrs, the angels, and the saints, they live forever in the Presence of God.

~Adapted from The 13th Warrior

Saints… Dead or Alive?

Again quoting from Thomas Merton: Spiritual Master by Lawrence S. Cunningham… 

Saints of the fifteenth century. In the collapse of medieval society, amid the corruption of the clergy and the decadence of conventual life, there arose men and women of the laity who were perfectly obedient to God. Nicholas of Flue, for instance, and Joan of Arc. They were simple and straight forward signs of contradiction in the middle of worldliness, prejudice, cruelty, despair, and greed. They were not rebels at all. They were meek and submissive instruments of God who, while being completely opposed to the corrupt norms around them, gave every man and every authority his due.  They show clearly and convincingly what it is to be not a rebel, but obedient to God as a sign to men – a sign of mercy, a revelation of truth and power. We are spontaneously drawn to these signs of God with all the love of our hearts.  We naturally trust them, believe in their intercession, knowing that they live on in the glory of God and that God would not give us such love for them if they were not still “sacraments” of His mercy to us.

Saints and our relationship with them has been a great treasure to me as a new Catholic.  How often I  have looked at the current ‘heroes’ and role models of our culture and thought that for the most part they are absolutely NOT what I want for my children to emulate… but where WERE all the good ones?  Where were all the REAL heroes? The men and women who did truly great things with more lasting effect than the ‘Hail Mary’ touchdown.  They were missing in action… or so I thought.

The truth is that they’ve always been there… silent witnesses who still inspired and reached millions of people.  I just didn’t have access to them, didn’t know about them… because I was raised protestant.  The communion of saints, despite being in the Creeds to which most Christians at least nod if not actually adhere, was yet another Truth, another blessing, another grace which protestantism had stripped away from the fullness of the Faith. 

These saints live still… they are the Church Triumphant, the Church who has been perfected and dwell with the Lord having completed their race… and they are our cloud of witnesses who cheer us, the Church Militant, on in ours, interceding for us to the Father of us all.  We do not idolize them anymore than we idolize our brothers and sisters in Christ here on earth. We do not worship them any more than we worship a beloved sister or brother here on earth.  Rather, together as the complete Body of Christ we worship God together, and intercede for one another.

Ps. 103:20–22 Bless the LORD, all you angels, mighty in strength and attentive, obedient to every command. Bless the LORD, all you hosts, ministers who do God’s will. Bless the LORD, all creatures, everywhere in God’s domain. Bless the LORD, my soul!

Psalms 148: 1-2 Hallelujah! Praise the LORD from the heavens; give praise in the heights. Praise him, all you angels; give praise, all you hosts.

Just as surely as they worship God with us, do they also intercede for us. We do ask them to intercede for us… just as we ask brothers and sisters in Christ here on earth… Do not the prayers of the righteous avail much? (Jas. 5:16) Scripture itself speaks to the intercession of men and angels in heaven…

 Rev 5:8 When he took it, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb. Each of the elders held a harp and gold bowls filled with incense, which are the prayers of the holy ones.

This shows that the saints and angels are aware of our prayers to God, else they would not be offering them to Him… They are aware of our prayers and intercede for us, presenting our needs to God as this scripture testifies.

Rev. 8:3–4 Another angel came and stood at the altar, holding a gold censer. He was given a great quantity of incense to offer, along with the prayers of all the holy ones, on the gold altar that was before the throne. The smoke of the incense along with the prayers of the holy ones went up before God from the hand of the angel.

Indeed we are cautioned as to the strength of their intercession…

Matt. 18:10 “See that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that their angels in heaven always look upon the face of my heavenly Father.

The testimony of the Early Church Fathers agrees with sacred scripture and we see it lived out in their example to us. 

Hermas

“[The Shepherd said:] ‘But those who are weak and slothful in prayer, hesitate to ask anything from the Lord; but the Lord is full of compassion, and gives without fail to all who ask him. But you, [Hermas,] having been strengthened by the holy angel [you saw], and having obtained from him such intercession, and not being slothful, why do not you ask of the Lord understanding, and receive it from him?’” (The Shepherd 3:5:4 [A.D. 80]). 

Clement of Alexandria

“In this way is he [the true Christian] always pure for prayer. He also prays in the society of angels, as being already of angelic rank, and he is never out of their holy keeping; and though he pray alone, he has the choir of the saints standing with him [in prayer]“ (Miscellanies 7:12 [A.D. 208]). 

Origen

“But not the high priest [Christ] alone prays for those who pray sincerely, but also the angels . . . as also the souls of the saints who have already fallen asleep” (Prayer 11 [A.D. 233]). 

Cyprian of Carthage

“Let us remember one another in concord and unanimity. Let us on both sides [of death] always pray for one another. Let us relieve burdens and afflictions by mutual love, that if one of us, by the swiftness of divine condescension, shall go hence first, our love may continue in the presence of the Lord, and our prayers for our brethren and sisters not cease in the presence of the Father’s mercy” (Letters 56[60]:5 [A.D. 253]). 

  “Atticus, sleep in peace, secure in your safety, and pray anxiously for our sins” (funerary inscription near St. Sabina’s in Rome [A.D. 300]).

“Pray for your parents, Matronata Matrona. She lived one year, fifty-two days” (ibid.). 

Methodius

“Hail to you for ever, Virgin Mother of God, our unceasing joy, for to you do I turn again. You are the beginning of our feast; you are its middle and end; the pearl of great price that belongs to the kingdom; the fat of every victim, the living altar of the Bread of Life [Jesus]. Hail, you treasure of the love of God. Hail, you fount of the Son’s love for man. . . . You gleamed, sweet gift-bestowing Mother, with the light of the sun; you gleamed with the insupportable fires of a most fervent charity, bringing forth in the end that which was conceived of you . . . making manifest the mystery hidden and unspeakable, the invisible Son of the Father—the Prince of Peace, who in a marvelous manner showed himself as less than all littleness” (Oration on Simeon and Anna 14 [A.D. 305]).

“Therefore, we pray [ask] you, the most excellent among women, who glories in the confidence of your maternal honors, that you would unceasingly keep us in remembrance. O holy Mother of God, remember us, I say, who make our boast in you, and who in august hymns celebrate the memory, which will ever live, and never fade away” (ibid.).

“And you also, O honored and venerable Simeon, you earliest host of our holy religion, and teacher of the resurrection of the faithful, do be our patron and advocate with that Savior God, whom you were deemed worthy to receive into your arms. We, together with you, sing our praises to Christ, who has the power of life and death, saying, ‘You are the true Light, proceeding from the true Light; the true God, begotten of the true God’” (ibid.).

Cyril of Jerusalem

“Then [during the Eucharistic prayer] we make mention also of those who have already fallen asleep: first, the patriarchs, prophets, apostles, and martyrs, that through their prayers and supplications God would receive our petition . . . “ (Catechetical Lectures 23:9 [A.D. 350]).

Hilary of Poitiers

“To those who wish to stand [in God’s grace], neither the guardianship of saints nor the defenses of angels are wanting” (Commentary on the Psalms 124:5:6 [A.D. 365]).

Ephraim the Syrian

“You victorious martyrs who endured torments gladly for the sake of the God and Savior, you who have boldness of speech toward the Lord himself, you saints, intercede for us who are timid and sinful men, full of sloth, that the grace of Christ may come upon us, and enlighten the hearts of all of us so that we may love him” (Commentary on Mark [A.D. 370]).

“Remember me, you heirs of God, you brethren of Christ; supplicate the Savior earnestly for me, that I may be freed through Christ from him that fights against me day by day” (The Fear at the End of Life [A.D. 370]).

The Liturgy of St. Basil

“By the command of your only-begotten Son we communicate with the memory of your saints . . . by whose prayers and supplications have mercy upon us all, and deliver us for the sake of your holy name” (Liturgy of St. Basil [A.D. 373]).

Pectorius

“Aschandius, my father, dearly beloved of my heart, with my sweet mother and my brethren, remember your Pectorius in the peace of the Fish [Christ]” (Epitaph of Pectorius [A.D. 375]).

Gregory of Nazianz

“May you [Cyprian] look down from above propitiously upon us, and guide our word and life; and shepherd this sacred flock . . . gladden the Holy Trinity, before which you stand” (Orations 17[24] [A.D. 380]).

“Yes, I am well assured that [my father’s] intercession is of more avail now than was his instruction in former days, since he is closer to God, now that he has shaken off his bodily fetters, and freed his mind from the clay that obscured it, and holds conversation naked with the nakedness of the prime and purest mind . . . “ (ibid., 18:4).

Gregory of Nyssa

“[Ephraim], you who are standing at the divine altar [in heaven] . . . bear us all in remembrance, petitioning for us the remission of sins, and the fruition of an everlasting kingdom” (Sermon on Ephraim the Syrian [A.D. 380]).

John Chrysostom

“He that wears the purple [i.e., a royal man] . . . stands begging of the saints to be his patrons with God, and he that wears a diadem begs the tentmaker [Paul] and the fisherman [Peter] as patrons, even though they be dead” (Homilies on Second Corinthians 26 [A.D. 392]).

“When you perceive that God is chastening you, fly not to his enemies . . . but to his friends, the martyrs, the saints, and those who were pleasing to him, and who have great power [in God]” (Orations 8:6 [A.D. 396]).

Ambrose of Milan

“May Peter, who wept so efficaciously for himself, weep for us and turn towards us Christ’s benign countenance” (The Six Days Work 5:25:90 [A.D. 393]).

Jerome

“You say in your book that while we live we are able to pray for each other, but afterwards when we have died, the prayer of no person for another can be heard. . . . But if the apostles and martyrs while still in the body can pray for others, at a time when they ought still be solicitous about themselves, how much more will they do so after their crowns, victories, and triumphs?” (Against Vigilantius 6 [A.D. 406]).

Augustine

“A Christian people celebrates together in religious solemnity the memorials of the martyrs, both to encourage their being imitated and so that it can share in their merits and be aided by their prayers” (Against Faustus the Manichean [A.D. 400]).

“There is an ecclesiastical discipline, as the faithful know, when the names of the martyrs are read aloud in that place at the altar of God, where prayer is not offered for them. Prayer, however, is offered for the dead who are remembered. For it is wrong to pray for a martyr, to whose prayers we ought ourselves be commended” (Sermons 159:1 [A.D. 411]).

“At the Lord’s table we do not commemorate martyrs in the same way that we do others who rest in peace so as to pray for them, but rather that they may pray for us that we may follow in their footsteps” (Homilies on John 84 [A.D. 416]).

“Neither are the souls of the pious dead separated from the Church which even now is the kingdom of Christ. Otherwise there would be no remembrance of them at the altar of God in the communication of the Body of Christ” (The City of God 20:9:2 [A.D. 419]).

Indeed, Jesus is the only mediator between God and man…

1 Tim. 2:5 For there is one God. There is also one mediator between God and the human race, Christ Jesus, himself human,

However, this does not mean that we can’t or shouldn’t ask others to pray for us as we see in the verses immediately preceeding that…

1 Tim. 2:1–4 First of all, then, I ask that supplications, prayers, petitions, and thanksgivings be offered for everyone, for kings and for all in authority, that we may lead a quiet and tranquil life in all devotion and dignity. This is good and pleasing to God our savior, who wills everyone to be saved and to come to knowledge of the truth.

Just as our brethren who pray for us here on earth, the saints and angels do not bypass Christ, but rather intercede with and for us TO God THROUGH Christ… saying as He taught us ‘Our Father…’ among the many other forms of prayer which we offer to God.

Before the fall, in the Garden of Eden when all was as He created it to be … what did Adam do? God gave him work right? A way to join God in what He was doing… After the fall, where we are now… does God allow us to join Him in His work? Sure… even those of us who are not ‘officially’ in ministry are not only allowed to join Him, it is expected of us, is it not? Then why do we think it will be any different when we are once again perfectly joined with Him and reside with Him again side by side?

Matt. 17:1-3  After six days Jesus took Peter, James, and John his brother, and led them up a high mountain by themselves.  And he was transfigured before them; his face shone like the sun and his clothes became white as light. And behold, Moses and Elijah appeared to them, conversing with him.

Why do we assume that He will not give us ‘work’ then as well in assisting Him in caring for others, even when He has SHOWN us He does exactly that in sacred scripture!

God continually renews my mind, teaching me things of Himself and His ways that have been neglected in my spiritual education.  They are not always pleasant, these lessons… rarely in my ‘comfort zone’… but so richly blessed am I that I rejoice in His instruction and turning my face to Him, beg Him to continue for the sheer joy of learning at His feet despite the pain and suffering it may bring.  Truly, this is the Christ life…

Words of Wisdom by Blessed Mother Teresa

Mother Teresa reportedly gave her sisters the following rules to follow in order to practice humility:

1. Speak as little as possible about yourself;
2. Keep busy with your own affairs and not those of others;
3. Avoid curiosity;
4. Do not interfere in the affairs of others;
5. Accept small irritations with good humor;
6. Do not dwell on the faults of others;
7. Accept censures even if unmerited;
8. Give in to the will of others;
9. Accept insults and injuries;
10. Accept contempt, being forgotten and disregarded;
11. Accept injuries and insults;
12. Be courteous and delicate even when provoked by someone;
13. Do not seek to be admired and loved;
14. Do not protect yourself behind your own dignity;
15. Give in, in discussions, even when you are right;
16. Choose always the more difficult task.

I found this little nugget at a blog and wanted to share (and save) it here.

Mother Theresa

Would anyone in their RIGHT MIND, look at the life Mother Theresa lived and question her salvation? The fact that she experienced such a prolonged ‘dark night of the soul’ (as related in John Paul the Great: Remembering a Spiritual Father by Peggy Noonan) and yet lived such a life of Christ-like excellence is awe-inspiring and encouraging to me… and yet knowing that some would say because she didn’t ‘feel’ His presence or because she was experiencing such prolonged ‘darkness’, she wasn’t ‘assured of her salvation’.

Following that stream of consciousness… Consider this… What if, when this ‘dark night’ hit, Mother Theresa had stopped dead in her tracks and begun to obsess over whether or not she was ‘assured of her salvation’… I, for one, think she never would’ve fulfilled the tremendous task which God sent her out of the convent for had she done so… Had she for one moment allowed her ‘lack of assurance’ stop her from living her life ‘beyond the door’. Consider also, that the incredible life she lived during those years may have been a direct result of her determination to keep serving God, regardless of whether or not she felt her salvation was assured… perhaps even more passionately than had she felt God’s presence because the possibility may have occurred to her that each act of those acts might be her only way of ever showing God just how much she loved Him, and appreciated what He had done for her. Not saying it was… saying what if… because I remember the thought processes one has in that ‘dark night’.

What is incredibly tragic is that many, knowing of her spiritual torment, would’ve been as bad, if not worse, than Job’s friends… and only added to her suffering as she daily lived Christ to the poor of India.

I have experienced a ‘dark night of the soul’ myself and it is unlike anything else I’ve ever experienced. Excruciatingly difficult and more desolate than any ‘winter’ I had experienced in my faith before or since. I’m not surprised at the reaction your friend received… I didn’t tell but one or two of what I considered the strongest Christians I knew at the time, and none of them understood, and they all reacted just as you described. (They knew me so they couldn’t imagine how I could possibly be where I was since THEY had no doubt of my salvation and were sure that if I just went back over ‘the plan’ and hung onto that I would realize it for myself…. but that just doesn’t work when you are in that place.) Having been there, and knowing what that is like, when I read this book and heard of Mother Theresa suffering with such a long ‘dark night’ of her own, she instantly became one of my hero’s… and it is a very. short. list.

Like A Child…

Lately I’ve been reading The Teachings of the Church Fathers put out by Ignatius Press. I’m not 35 pages into it but what riches!  I’m really grateful that the Lord allowed me to find this AFTER I was convinced. OY! If C.S. Lewis was a speed bump, these guys would have been a concrete reinforced brick wall. 

Just the writings I’ve worked my way through have covered what were some big issues for me coming into the Church and have given a final seal of affirmation which feels similar to a benediction of sorts. 

On Worship of God/Veneration of Mary and the Saints

St. Augustine said…
‘It is true that Christians pay religious honor to the memory of the martyrs, both to excite us to imitate them, and to obtain a share in their merits, and the assistance of their prayers.’

St. John of Damascus said…
‘We adore only the Creator and Maker of things, God, to whom we offer latria since God is to be adored according to His nature.  We also adore the holy mother of God, not as God, but as mother of God according to the flesh.  We also adore the saints, the chosen friends of God, by whom we have easy access to Him.’

And listen to this…

St. Fulgentius…
‘True religion consists in the service of the one true God.’

And other commentary on various topics…

‘When you have put off mortality, and put on immortality, then will you see God worthily.’    St. Theophilus of Antioch

‘Let us then in everything believe God, and contradict Him in nothing, though what is said seem to be contrary to our thoughts and senses, but let His word be of higher authority than both our reasonings and sight.  Thus let us do in the mysteries also, not looking at the things set before us, but keeping in mind His sayings.  For His word cannot deceive, but our senses are easily beguiled. His word has never failed, but our senses in most things go wrong.  Since then the Word says, “This is my Body’, (Matt 26:26) let us both be persuaded and believe, and look at It with the eyes of the mind.  For Christ has given us nothing sentient, but though things are sensible, yet all are to be perceived spiritually.  So also in baptism, the gift is bestowed by a sensible thing, that is, by water; but that which is done is perceived by the mind:- the birth and the renewal.  For if you had been incorporeal, He would have delivered to you the incorporeal gifts bare; but because the soul has a been locked up in a body, He delivers you the things that the mind perceives, in things sensible.  How many now say, I would wish to see His form, His figure, His clothes, His shoes.  You do see Him, you do touch Him, you do eat Him, and you indeed desire to see His clothes, but He gives Himself to you not only to see, but also to touch, and eat and receive within you.’  St. John Chrysostom

The Muratorian Fragment says ‘yet one church is recognized as being spread over the entire world’ and refers to the chair of the church of the city of Rome.

St. Augustine said, ‘If we are perplexed by an apparent contradiction in Scripture, it is not allowable to say, “The author of this book is mistaken”; but either the manuscript is faulty, or the translation is wrong, or you have not understood…’

Also…

 St. Augustine… ‘If divine works cannot be wrought but by God, take heed lest in This Man God lie concealed.’

And…

‘You could not see God, a man you could; so God was made man, that in one you might have both what to see, and what to believe.’

Isn’t that BEAUTIFUL?  It sends one scurrying back along pages to the above about giving us the incorporeal sensibly that we might see, touch, consume and receive Him, doesn’t it?

Oh, and this…

Origen… ‘And who would rationally maintain that an improved moral life, which daily lessened the number of a man’s offences, could proceed from a system of deceit?’

My soul thrills at such wealth! Word full of faith and glory, words of passionate belief by those who were so close compared to us that they could still smell the scent of His robes. Some of them recounting first hand what they heard from the apostles!  I find myself exclaiming over a passage and look up only to realize that there is no one here to share it with… and as I turn instead to the Lord, enthusing to Him as my children do to me with some new innocent joy about things I already know well, and as I become like a child once again myself I fancy I can see His indulgent smile and hear Him say, “Yes, I know, it IS wonderful”.