Love and Sacrifice…

Let us remember that love, in order to survive, must be nourished by sacrifices.
— Bl. Mother Teresa

Temptation Also Reads…

I was on the phone with a friend the other day discussing the Temptation issue.  She was sharing with me something she had been given in her own struggles with that issue and it resonated in a very deep way.  I forgot to mention it in the Temptation post and was going to just do another one when in chatting with her on the phone TODAY she mentioned having blogged it…  *insert angelic alleluia chorus* …which of course makes my desire to share EASIER!

So, if you got anything out of the Temptations post, please visit Red Neck Woman over at Postscripts From the Catholic Spitfire Grill  and read Stigmata. 

Not only that, but she has another post just under that called Arrogant Humility.  It is a very good read for a number of reasons and if you are reading in the ‘Temptations’ and ‘Stigmata’ mindset there is much good insight in this one as well that might otherwise be missed in favor of the main ‘humility’ theme.  The quote from C.S. Lewis’  The Great Divorce ties it all up rather neatly.

This evening, I’m holding onto heaven moment by moment, one foot in front of the other…  I long for the ability to physically lash myself to the Cross lest my own strength should fail. These two posts have helped to ‘hold up my arms’ a bit and the help is much appreciated.

Suffering…

SUFFERING
I wonder what the world would be like
If there were not innocent people
Making reparation for us all…?
Today the passion of Christ is being relived
In the lives of those who suffer.
To accept that suffering is a gift of God.
Suffering is not a punishment.
God does not punish.
Suffering is a gift- Tho,
Like all gifts,
It depends on how we receive it.
And that is why we need a pure heart-
To see the hand of God,
To feel the hand of God,
To recognize the gift of God
In our suffering.
Suffering is not a punishment.
Jesus does not punish.
Suffering is a sign-
A sign That we have come so close To Jesus on the cross,
That He can kiss us,
Show that He is in love with us,
By giving us an opportunity to share
In His passion.
In our Home for the Dying
It is so beautiful to see
People who are joyful,
People who are lovable,
People who are at peace,
In spite of terrible suffering.
Suffering is not a punishment,
Not a fruit of sin,
It is a gift of God.
He allows us to share in His suffering
And to make up for the sins of the world.
~~ Mother Teresa

Temptation

Temptation is a messy business.  Sometimes you can see that messy business coming from a mile away and can take a detour.  It comes with billboards, bullhorns, and all manner of other over the top warning signs.  Sometimes it doesn’t.  Sometimes temptation is waiting around an innocuous corner.  No signs, no warning calls… just that icky mire waiting for someone to come along. Sometimes it’s a slippery hill that seemed flat enough when the walk began.  Hindsight is always 20/20… but that isn’t much comfort when one is covered in the black tarlike residue of a fight with temptation.  I keep reminding myself that wrestling with temptation and winning doesn’t always mean walking away clean.  Sometimes it means walking away feeling dirty and needing a shower after having clawed oneself back over the edge of the cliff… but sometimes that isn’t much comfort.

The worst is temptation that comes of legitimate needs.  Needs that will not be ignored.  Things that can be avoided completely are so much easier to battle.  Take food, for example… We have a legitimate need for food.  How much easier for the glutton to conquer their sin if they could avoid food entirely?  Yet that is not feasible.  Food is necessary and a legitimate need… How much more difficult then for the glutton who must be tempted by commercials of steaming favorites and so on constantly.  How much more difficult the struggle when it is impossible to avoid the near occasion of sin? Even this is easier than some… this is a fairly individual need… no need for another to satisfy it.  Think then of companionship, affection, affirmation… and any number of other needs for which we are dependant on others.  What about when temptation is not even exterior, but interior, in the thought processes of the mind which slip greasily from one thing to the next so that one is back in the rut of temptation without conscious decision… How does one flee ones very self?

I suppose I always thought of ‘finishing the race’ as being rather Olympian.  Running full out, breaking the tape victoriously to be followed by a victory lap.  I’ve no excuse for that bit of delusion… life has been of a sort that I should’ve made the connection.  I don’t think that anymore.  I’m not even sure that I can say there are probably those who do… because we don’t always really know the struggles the Saints faced and the ones we do show that it was, indeed, a struggle.  No, at this point ‘finishing the race’ doesn’t sound victorious anymore… just essential.  Lord willing that I manage it, the crossing of the finish line looks radically different to my mind than I had imagined previously.  Instead of running full out, a tortured clawing crawl by inches leaving a furrow behind.  Instead of breaking the tape, plowing through the line drawn on the ground beneath it by the very last pull of bloodied hands and fingers.  Instead of a victory lap, the last gasp a prayer of thanks to have made it at all.

That line of the Lord’s Prayer had always given me trouble… ‘lead us not into temptation’… even with the understanding it means ‘lead us not into trials’ I struggled with it.  Stupid of me, and I knew it at the time… if Christ prayed it, that means He intended us to, that it was needful to pray… but I have ever been one to learn as much the hard way as any other.  No longer the qualms… I pray that line with all my heart, despising my own weakness. 

I’m thinking much fasting and prayer is in order… it is all I can think of to do.